The one where Baby G left

I have been putting this post off-- because it still makes me get teary. I didn't mean to fall head- over-hills in love with someone else's baby. But I did. And I feel like someone cut off my arm or something because this cute face is not smiling at me everyday anymore. Sweet Baby G started coming to play at our house when she was still brand new-- 6 weeks old. I could not believe how tiny she was. I wondered how to feel about her at first-- would I be stepping over my bounds to tell her I loved her? What should I call myself when I was talking to her and I was telling her understood when she was in pain? (For my own children, I still tell them "Mommy knows, I am sorry it hurts, I love you, we will find a way to make it better"), Would it be okay to sing my baby lullabies to her--even though she wasn't mine? -- before long it is was clear that I had no say in the matter: she had my whole heart. Perhaps mothers only know one way to love. And oh my how I fell in love with those "chocolate" eyes (according to Preston) and that sweet little grin.

My children were completely enthralled with her from the beginning and couldn't wait to have a turn to hold her, to run for her diapers and bottle, to talk to her through tummy time and to just bask in her delight-fullness-- You know I have lost my mind to unabashed affection when I start making up my own words to describe a little person. And that is how I feel about Baby G. She has filled a hole in our home and our hearts when a new baby has not been a possibility. We have been so blessed with all of the blessings a baby brings to a home. Babies bring so much love. Everyone speaks a little softer, and a little kinder when there is a little one around. And love just grows and grows.

Wonderful changes have come for Baby G's family that have made her days with us no longer necessary. But I will always remember this year as the one where we had Baby G and how many beautiful blessings she brought to us. We will always have great love for this little sweetie.

What are you going to be on Halloween Night?

Halloween was fun as it always is. My kids were disappointed that I didn't dress up (which was funny because I never do--but this year they noticed) We went to a friend's Halloween party a few weeks ago and then we hit the trunk or treat at the church on Halloween night. My kids still think this is awesome and I think it is so simple so I love it too.

Preston as a ghost-- he made me keep cutting the hole for his face bigger and bigger-- it really bothered him to have it on his face at all. I pinned it to this hat which I guess should have been white-- I was not really worried about the details on this one :) He liked it, but was really ready to get out of it when the night was over (by 7:30).

Waiting in line for the "Haunted Spook Alley" that went through a trailer and was mostly cute less scary. My kids thought it was great.

This is classic Rebekah-- can't decide what to have so I will just have it all at once!

Our pretty fairy princess.

Thirty

I guess I am growing up! I am finally 30. I actually have been looking forward to it all year-- even though I am not sure why. I have so many blessings and I feel content with many things in my life. I have so much room to progress, but this year I feel like I have finally embraced who I am and have stepped into my unique role and my unique voice in ways I have been unwilling to before. And I am grateful that it only took me 30 years to love myself enough to be different from everyone else. I am glad that I look like myself. I am glad that I have my husband, my children, my life. It is mine. No one else has one like it. Even though there are certainly things I would love to have different, I have spent a great deal of time on my knees this year asking God to give me a grateful heart. Not just gratitude that things aren't worse. Gratitude for what IS. All of it. It is still a work in progress. I still need more humility, more trust in my Savior, more selflessness, more understanding and willingness to see things from another's viewpoint. I don't pretend that I have mastered this, only that I aspire to have this attitude. To be grateful with all of my heart that my life is mine. To feel peace with both my blessings, and my trials.
Burke made me this yummy cake for my birthday. He was so cute fussing over the whole thing and working to make my day special. He is so fantastic. Seriously, I wonder how I got such a wonderful husband. So blessed!

I got a new camera! And I like it. It is not too fancy (which is good, I get intimidated by fancy)--overall a HUGE improvement :) So who knows? Maybe I will take more pictures which always helps me blog more. I just have to get in the habit of taking more pictures again!!

Here are the kids posing for me as I was trying it out!

Rebekah was seriously out of control and crazy. I have about 10 more pics of her being crazy. What a funny girl!

Of note other un-pictured highlights:

• Preston and Rebekah insisted on taking me to Chuck E. Cheese for dinner and games Friday night. It was really fun and so cute that they thought of that fun way to celebrate with me.
  
• They also helped Burke pick out my presents and they were amazingly good at not giving any direct hints. So cute & I loved sharing their excitement about birthdays!
• Beautiful New Bedroom Bedding set. I can't believe Burke and the kids picked this out themselves. I love it!
  
• Burke took me out to dinner Saturday night and then we browsed the bookstore for what seemed like hours. I love going to the bookstore without my kids!
• The primary had their first practice for our Sacrament meeting Presentation on my birthday. They were amazing. I love those children so much and even with the stress of putting this all together, I am excited to see them working so hard and sharing their developing testimonies. It is so beautiful to be with the primary children each week.