I have been thinking a great deal lately about my precious children. Like many of you, I am blessed with active, spirited children who push limits, and have wildly independent thought. I find myself completely overwhelmed in some moments. There was one day this week when I turned into Mommy Monster. I knew I was out of line, but oh how they pushed me that day. And I snapped. And I said awful things. Things I didn't mean. I pushed them away with unkind words and calloused impatience. And after I had sent them off to their beds that night, I had that heaviness in my heart. I knew I was so wrong. So in tears, I knelt in prayer to right myself before God. He is kind and forgiving. He is merciful and just. He is patient with my shortcomings and He {still} believes in me as a Mother. And most important, He is ever willing to guide my steps and give me the strength I need to improve. He teaches me to guide with love in my heart. Because they are not mine; they are His. And even though I cannot fathom how, I know He loves them even more than I do.
When I was a freshman in college my two younger sisters were in a musical, "Into The Woods". I went every night I could, I can remember going at least 2 times. Each time when my amazingly talented friend Rachel would sing the hauntingly beautiful refrain of "Children will Listen" I would cry and cry. I thought it very weird--as I had no children of my own and was not even close to having them, but I was so moved and knew I would reflect on it one day when I had children of my own. And the day has finally come-- when I understand a little more what the song really means. (And it still makes me cry . . .)
Here it is . . . (And I must apologize that this singer is so scantily clad--there were no other YouTube versions that I liked the presentation of-- so just close your eyes!)
3 comments:
I had a similar experience last week. It is something I have to work on every day. Thank you for your insight.
I have been losing my patience a lot with Belén. Thank you for the reminder of how precious our children are. I had forgotten the words to that song and it does mean so much more to me now that I have my own children and more life experience. God keeps telling me that all Belén really needs from me is unconditional love. (Like that should be hard or anything). I want to be more gentle and offer her unconditional love, just as God offers it to me and I am imperfect and so thankful for the atonement - because no matter how bad I emotionally mess her up because of my imperfections, Christ can heal her. And me. I love that.
Love that song!! Beautiful version too (even w/her dress!) You are an amazing mother and your kids are lucky to have you!!
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